try.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day...A day to celebrate romantic love for most, but for our large family, it's also become an opportunity to celebrate family love.  Instead of my husband and I going out alone for a romantic dinner, we decorate the kitchen table, cook a "special" dinner, and dig up any dishes that have hearts on them to serve up that meal on.  Lately, our 6 year old, Jack has been grabbing cooking magazines off the racks every holiday season saying "We should try to make these Mom!"  As he helped me pick out Valentine's and boxes of chocolates, he spotted a Martha Stewart Living magazine with beautiful pink  heart cookies on the cover and said "Hey mom!"  We bought the magazine and all the ingredients we would need for these sweet desserts, and late yesterday afternoon, I headed to the kitchen to start preparing our family feast. 

Jack played in the living room.  "Jack, I'm starting the cookies.  Do you want to come help?"  Jack played.  I beat butter and sugar, rolled dough between sheets of parchment paper, chilled, rolled again, and finally hand cut the dough into hearts (because I had not been able to find heart shaped cookie cutters during my many hour frantic search through San Diego which consumed my entire morning).  Several times, I called out "Jack, do you want to help make these cookies?"  Jack played.

I forgot the pink cookies in the oven, and they burned.  The chocolate cookie recipe was dry, and I felt like I was trying to convince sand to become a malleable ball of cookie dough.  It was 8:30 before I was finally mixing the cookie filling (which was just frosting, and I could have bought that pre-made if I had realized!!).  Then, the moment of truth...I served the family the cookies that took me half a day to make for them.  And I will emphasize ME because except for the brief moment he came in to play with the roller, Jack did not have any interest in helping me make those cookies.

Nobody liked the cookies.  Including me.  They were hard.  They were burned.  The frosted filling was grainy, and the ingredients weren't nearly as tasty as Oreos or store bought sugar cookies.  Still clinging to the hope that baking will engage Jack and give me a little helper some day, I say "That's OK.  We can try new recipes for the next holiday."  Jack says "Yep.  But you don't have to wait to try new recipes.  We can try those any time we want."

It struck me...Jack thinks he's gifting me with an opportunity to cook for him.  To try new things.  He thinks I'm having fun, and he's suggesting that I have fun more often.  Why wait for the holidays to try new things?  Why wait until the next holiday to say "I love you?" or plan a special dinner or decorate the house? 

Sleepless night, busy days, juggling work with babies with romance with home repairs...The load a parent carries seems to get heavier and heavier as time goes on and children grow bigger and busier.  Faster than we imagine they will, the days of innocence fly by, and our precious babies who see possibilities and celebrations in every day grow into responsible adults like us.

Thank you Jack for reminding me to love and celebrate and try new things because I can.  Because the possibilities exist.  Not because the calendar says it's a holiday, but because I am alive and well and have the beautiful opportunity to raise amazing children.